It has to start somewhere
And unfortunately for you, that place is an unwieldy post in which I work to regain my footing as a writer
The water isn’t so fine, but I’m diving in anyway
I’ve spent over a year waiting for the “right time” to start writing again. Life has a tendency to be too busy letting itself unfold to make room for our plans. I’ve realized I need to just make something regardless of how prepared I feel. I told myself I’d commission a logo, proper website design, and so much more. Instead of a fully actualized plan, I’ve got a name and a loose set of ideas about what I’d like to do. In trying to overcorrect against my past missteps where I launched something that wasn’t thought out, I got too far and nearly prevented myself from ever taking action again. The pursuit of perfection is worthless. The joy in life and art and all things is the process of it. I’ve never been perfect. I’ve often been completely adequate in spite of this. I hope that you’ll accept adequacy and a little growth along the way.
So, what is Trauma Angel? It’s whatever I’ll need it to be. It will change and it will grow. I’ll try things that may not stick and I will do my best to keep things interesting for myself. If it’s not interesting to me, it won’t be much fun for anybody. One of the biggest mistakes I made with Black Metal & Brews was to name the damn thing something so specific. It probably would’ve been great for “branding” if I was the kind of person to hang out in a narrow lane, but I quickly deviated from talking about the two topics in the site’s name. It was good that I did, but it also left me with a few rifts. Some folks wanted a blog specifically about black metal and beer and I only occasionally wrote about either of those. The beer and metal fanatics were disappointed. Some people would’ve loved to connect with the things I covered, but weren’t the kind of folks to read a site about black metal and beer. They never had a chance to learn that I was covering other things. The core group of my readers were strange and curious people who were similarly open-minded and happened to come from a background where extreme metal was a commonality. I was very fortune to connect with these people. Chances are, if you’re here on day one, you’re one of those folks who gave my old site a shot either because of or in spite of its name. Thank you.
In correcting the name, I’ve already solved one of my biggest problems yet created another: how do I explain this to anyone else? Trauma Angel is not just a platform for music, although music is the primary way in which I engage with the world around me. I can’t imagine writing about my life or my thoughts and not having music guide the experience. In 2016 when I was first diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, half of the article I did surrounding the topic wrapped it alongside my experience of coming to terms with David Bowie’s death through his album Blackstar and another large segment of the piece centered a cassette by TALsounds that I found comforting in my time of sickness. I refuse to become someone who simply rewrites PR copy under the guise of reviews, but my experiences with the arts define my days and often keep me stable in a world that would otherwise leave me isolated and depressed. It would be dishonest not to center art, but I do plan on occasionally writing pieces that touch on other topics I find interesting. I hope they will interest you as well.
For now, Trauma Angel is a newsletter/blog. I have a similarly named TikTok account where I’m doing simple vlogs. Other social channels may appear with time, but the goal is to do this slowly and organically. In the past I tried to separate myself from my writing. I’ve seen that people prefer to have a human connection with the people making media and I wish to engage accordingly, but I need to retain some of my existence for my own sake. Just as I write for public consumption, I have other creative pursuits that remain private because the joy of participation is enough for me. As this grows (if this grows), I will do my best to let the public in to the places that I feel are best for all of us to share.
For those who haven’t read my writing before or don’t know who I am, I’ll let this serve as a brief introduction to me since my writing and my existence are tied up in each other. My name is Ben and I am a disabled person living in New York. Art has been the sole constant in my life during frightening hospital stays, monotonous months spent shut in my home, and in helping me endure tedious jobs that solely serve to perpetuate my survival. I wish to use this site and its future extensions as a hub for my passion. I want to share the things that make my life worth living. While this means I’ll be writing about music most of the time, I may also feel write about other aspects of my life and experiences. Sometimes you may have to endure an opinion piece. Hopefully it gives you a clearer picture of the person and the mind behind the things you read. Perhaps it’ll help you trust me more fully as a total person. Perhaps I can help you find your favorite new song. Perhaps you’ll send me something beautiful I never would’ve found without your help. If I can turn this into a community of mutual respect and understanding, it’ll be the best thing I could possibly do with my time.
Future editions of Trauma Angel will begin with a lengthier “essay” segment here, followed by a collection of reviews and personal notes, and will end with a short summary and note on what comes next. For today’s edition, this introduction will serve as your essay. Please read on for the reviews and other chit-chat. Thanks for being here.
Reviews
Live- Knifedoutofexistence & Secret Boyfriend at Selva
I rarely get out to noise shows these days, but as a longtime fan of both Knifedoutofexistence and Secret Boyfriend, the opportunity to catch this show just a short walk from home was one I couldn’t miss. The space at Selva was new to me, but I instantly found myself enamored. A café, bar, record shop, and gallery all in one? Count me in.
Opening the night was local artist Bentley Anderson, who performed a set based around rather unconventional use of the guitar. The hypnotic and jarring drone he created served almost as a sonic palate cleanser for me, separating the tedium and exhaustion of my working day from a night of cathartic and disruptive art. I was yawning when I arrived at the venue and was fully engaged by the time Anderson’s performance was over. I’ll be keeping an eye on his future activities.
Secret Boyfriend (the alias of North Carolina musician Ryan Martin) performed next and blew away the limited notions I’d had of what might occur. I’ve been rather obsessed with the fever dream sound of 2016’s Memory Care Unit since its release and had expected something of a softer night with a little unease around the edges. While pockets of bright, haunting ambiance were present, they were scattered in amongst everything from minimalist pop to scathing harsh noise. For the most part, each song bled into the next, allowing the listener to see how the separation between sounds is a distinction we make for ourselves but how easily they fused into a greater whole. I’ve been to my share of “mixed bill” outsider music shows, but this felt like watching an entire night of that sort compiled into a single artist’s set. If Secret Boyfriend hasn’t been on your radar already, please remedy this and keep an eye on his future tour dates. A truly understated powerhouse.
Next was a reading from local writer Allyson Joan Erwin. I did not take any photographs or videos during her performance out of respect for the weight of the subject matter at hand. Her piece for the evening was a reading on the disappearance of her father and the tangle of emotions and notions of self he’d imparted on her. It was solemn and human, punctuated by a slideshow of her father’s old film slides. Writing about another human’s grappling with the complexity of their own experiences feels wrong, so I’ll keep this simple but it was another moment in the night that recentered me and ensured my complete focus.
Rounding out the night was Knifedoutofexistence from England. Dean Lloyd Robinson has been an online pal for some years and I’ve been listening to his music since the earlier days of the project, so this was a real treat for me. His form of depressive power electronics translated into a wonderfully cathartic live experience, both mournful and violent. While the night had contained moments of pure noise, it wasn’t until Knifedoutofexistence’s set that the volume was set to maximum with very little relief. His performance itself contained subtlety and flow, but at a near-consistent deafening volume. It may sound abrasive or hostile towards the audience (and indeed it was in some ways) but it also provided a weight to the experience that allowed me to feel it in my chest just as much as I experienced it in my head and heart. Squealing feedback colored the room while the occasional melody tried to surface from behind it all, creating a sense of struggle for peace. Robinson’s chanting and roaring was powerful enough in the context of more somber pieces, but the set’s climax of almost pure vocal feedback and threat was exactly what I needed to break through some recent mental blocks I’ve had in my own life. If you, dear reader, have never been to a noise show and feel this sounds unappealing, I don’t blame you. Still, I’d urge any curious folks to attend something like this with an open mind. It just might put some cracks in walls you didn’t realize you’d built around your own feelings.
(Of note: local artist Karol Konstancia performed later in the night in what appeared to be a space at the back of the venue, but I had left by then as the show appeared to be over due to the clearing of the main performance space around 11pm. Omission of this performance is due to my own error, not as a slight against the artist)
Albums
Mukqs- Eye Frame (Orange Milk Records)
It wouldn’t be a list of reviews from me if we didn’t start with a deep cut, would it? Not that Mukqs (member of Good Willsmith, co-operator of Hausu Mountain & sole operator of Blorpus Editions) shouldn’t have more love, but outsider electronic music tends to receive a bit less coverage than guitar bands or dancefloor-oriented music. Eye Frame is over an hour of freak ambient music, testing out a delicate balance between tranquil beauty and intermittent intrusions. Instead of becoming background music, Eye Frame creates a small geography of its own with a unique but easily recognized set of musical rules all entirely its own. Curious listeners will be well rewarded.
Ardente- La Nuit Eternelle (The Weeping Kingdom)
I first became aware of the work of Lila Starless with the short-lived but fantastic Attic Presence a few years back. Since then, I’ve done my best to keep up with her countless works. The first full-length album from Ardente after a slew of stellar demos, La Nuit Eternelle, is an incredible work of majestic black metal inspired by the second wave but not falling into a nostalgic trap. This album captures the timelessness and beauty of the genre’s classics without feeling redundant or like it’s retreading overly worn territory. Instead of relying heavily on a repeated motif or two, each song is filled to the brim with enchanting riffs that are somehow both melodic and furious at the same time, often supplemented by orchestral synths (but not in the overtly bombastic “symphonic” sense). Triumphant, dark, and relentless, it’s everything you’d want from your new favorite cult black metal artist and the production walks the line enough to satisfy those who need their instruments audible without feeling sterile. Highly recommended.
Chat Pile- Cool World (The Flenser)
Having your first album blow up seems like it could be a dream for most bands, but I’ve always wondered if it’s really a curse. Outsider noise rock freaks Chat Pile had an unenviable task when writing Cool World. 2022’s God’s Country was a massive success and even that album had to follow two EPs that set the underground on fire. Somehow Chat Pile have outdone themselves and released an album that sets a new artistic standard while still seeming poised to please most audiences. They’ve neither recreated their past releases nor done something that’s such a wild departure that it’ll alienate listeners. On songs like “Shame” or “Tape,” there’s an element of catchy, almost singalong energy, that wasn’t so present before, yet the band’s requisite Godfleshian filth remains fully intact. Chat Pile remains a band that sound just as in place now as they would’ve if they arrived in 1996, which would be a damning statement for almost anyone else. If you have somehow not given them (or this album) a shot yet, do yourself a favor and fix that.
Paysage d’Hiver- Die Berge (Kunsthall Produktionen)
Colder weather is upon us and so is the newest Paysage d’Hiver album. A single track from this artist can often run longer than the average band’s rehearsal demo tape, so it’s no surprise that Die Berge’s seven tracks occupy over a hundred minutes. Overkill would come to mind with most artists, but anyone familiar with this raw hypnotic black metal knows that driving the listener past exhaustion and through it to a chilling euphoria is the entire point. It’s massive, it’s fuzzy, and it’s gorgeous. I’ll admit I need far more than a single week to give this a fully formed review, but I just wanted to highlight that this is here and it’s highly deserving of your attention, even if it’ll take many hours for it to reveal its secrets beyond the initial sentiment of “this is a lot, but it rules.”
Apologist- Philadelphia (No Rent Records)
Apologist is a noise artist whose work I’ve enjoyed for some time. Philadelphia is a collection of field recordings taken at different points in the artist’s home city, each given a unique treatment to differentiate it from the others. I can’t entirely say I understand what the treatments themselves entail, but what this feels like is something both intimate and closed off. It’s like hearing a personal conversation from another room or hearing the smell of someone cooking when you’re in the hallway of an apartment building. You can tell there is a world happening that means so much to someone else, but it isn’t your world and instead you just get a beautiful little fragment of it to absorb. I find my own meaning and peace in it. You might as well. This feels very calming and sweet to me without falling into ambient tedium.
Thank- I Have A Physical Body That Can Be Harmed (Big Scary Monsters)
Leeds-based art rockers Thank have cultivated a reputation for making unique art even among their peers in the fruitful no wave and noise rock scenes. On I Have A Physical Body That Can Be Harmed, all the wit and barbed social commentary of their earlier work is still present, but there’s a sense that they’re having more fun than ever before. There’s a warmth and playfulness on many songs that add such depth, especially bolstered by their excellent rhythm section, and the band’s entire approach feels refined and more definitively their own these days. Their last record, Thoughtless Cruelty, was a masterclass in tension. I Have A Physical Body That Can Be Harmed hasn’t lost the tension, but with a looser sound Thank has carved out a greater space for the punches to hit hard. Top recommendation.
What it Felt Like- …Remember… (Self-Released)
I came across What it Felt Like a few weeks back when the “crazy ass moments in nu metal history” account posted their song “Dog Days.” The sort of dark hardcore/screamo thing What it Felt Like has going is quite akin to old pageninetynine or current Portrayal of Guilt much more than I usually think of when I hear the term “screamo.” They’ve got some nasty riffs, a singer who sounds like they’re straight up from hell itself, and this EP has enough variety to tell me they’re not a band interested in just going for the throat at all times. Each of the songs here has something special in it, but what I’m most excited for is to see what comes next. I have very high hopes.
Melted Bodies- The Inevitable Fork (Self-Released)
Melted Bodies’ newest, The Inevitable Fork, is an oddity of a record even for a band whose whole thing is kinda about being an oddity. Released as a series of EPs over the course of a couple years, The Inevitable Fork is consequently both quite familiar to fans who’ve followed, and entirely new. Instead of simply stacking the EPs back to back in sequential order, the songs are rearranged for optimal full-album flow and have the added benefit of interludes featuring Xiu Xiu member Angelo Seo to fully flesh this out as a unique and cohesive experience. The band’s “Devo-gone-death-metal” antics have expanded out in every direction, both fiercer and more head-spinning, yet they avoid the trap many similarly odd bands fall into of being quirky for the sake of being quirky. Melted Bodies are playful and strange, yet remain a band whose work should be taken seriously, akin to the works of The Dead Kennedys rather than the many silly but one-dimensional Mr. Bungle impersonators who overpopulated cut-out bins in the mid-00’s after learning no actual lessons from their more accomplished predecessors. The Inevitable Fork is biting and self-aware as it critiques a society in a state of functional dysfunction and it sounds the part: venomous and grinding, always sounding about to crumble yet never fully falling off the tracks. It’s a wild ride, but one you’ll want to enjoy again and again.
Visonfethacsis- Waltzes in Daguerrotype (Self-Released)
My philosophy on newer artists is typically that they should always leave us wanting more, lest they overstay their welcome. Visonfethacsis proves a welcome exception to this rule with their elegant raw black metal, clearly inspired by maniac outsider acts like Manierisme or even the LLN groups of the ‘90s. Don’t let the fancy language in the song titles fool you, this is still music for the depraved, it just happens to take its focus seriously rather than pandering towards some sort of pseudo-Satanic claptrap for the sake of shock. The word “haunting” gets thrown around a lot with black metal, but this music feels more like it’s haunted by something rather than doing the haunting itself. Let’s hope this massive debut, allegedly six years in the making, doesn’t take too long to receive a follow-up; it shows great promise and stands out in a scene full of tedious and redundant acts.
My Recent Sources of Joy
LISTENING
Black to Comm- Seven Horses for Seven Kings
I’m not sure what’s got me so drawn to this release again lately, but it’s been a favorite since its release in 2019. I’ve been attempting a return to making music with friends lately, and perhaps since it’s more guitar music than anything I’m finding myself spending more time with things that exist outside the spectrum of rock music and its offshoots. I’ve always been drawn to noise, but I also tend to long for beauty. Black to Comm specializes in a horrifying fusion of both that haunts at even the calmest moments, yet never fully terrifies. Just brilliant.
Korean Jade- SOME BLOOD IS INEVITABLE
This is technically a new release for 2024, but it came out much earlier in the year and thus feels more appropriate to include here. This year marks a solid decade of enjoying the works of Korean Jade and I love the sickly, strange sounds he gets out of his synthesizers. Feels like a steambath for the brain in the midst of a feverish delusion. Essential listening for the freaks.
Lana Del Rabies- Strega Beata
Strega Beata was one of my favorite records of 2023 and with Lana Del Rabies currently posting lots of deranged looking clips from her European tour with Pharmakon and Kollaps, I’ve found myself compelled to listen to this more and more lately. Haunting death industrial/darkwave/ambient noise that moves both body and soul.
The Callous Daoboys- Live on Audiotree
I’ve attended far fewer live shows in 2024 than I did the previous two years, in spite of all the medical trauma I endured in 2022. Still, I finally managed to see The Callous Daoboys on two separate occasions. This recording of the band performing live in a studio setting hits a “best of both worlds” mood for me and gives me fond memories of the shows I saw. The band’s energy is high and the sound is raw without turning muddy the way it can when you’re in an actual venue. The extended ambient/breakcore type intro on the live version of “Pushing the Pink Envelope” alone makes this worth your time. The Callous Daoboys are currently recording their next LP and it seems clear they’re headed for a new peak. Get on board now if you aren’t already following them.
Scarling- So Long, Scarecrow
I got into Jack Off Jill as a teenager, but somehow only got into the work of related band Scarling in the last three or four years. I probably wouldn’t have appreciated the subtlety and regretful nature when I was 17 the way I do now at 37, but I still wish I’d had this in my life longer. It’s anthemic and dense, but not in the arena singalong sense. Rather, this feels like a collection of personal reminders from the artist to herself. Places she’d rather not revisit, committed forever as a reminder of where not to return. It’s beautiful and sad and wonderful.
AFI- The Art of Drowning
I first heard The Art of Drowning around this time of year when I was 14. Even if (this era of) AFI wasn’t totally known as autumnal music, they’d always be associated with this time of year for the sake of my own nostalgia. While Sing the Sorrow is probably my favorite of their albums, I’ve been drawn to the more straightforward punch of The Art of Drowning lately. Again, now that I’m thinking about making music of my own, perhaps I’m just drawn to things that inspire me to think of nice little melodies.
READING
Ursula K. Le Guin- The Left Hand of Darkness
I’ve started and stopped this one so many times because of how damn busy life gets, but I’ve made it about 100 pages in and I’m finally hooked enough to crave it. I find that I’m never really apathetic to books so much as I need to be lost in them in order to have them break through the layers of daily thought that clutter my existence.
Julia Cameron- The Artist’s Way
This more of an exercise book than a reading book, but it’s one I really needed for a while. I first learned of it from the recommendation of my friend Becky Laverty, who publishes the fantastic Slowpoke newsletter on here and basically makes Roadburn Festival happen every year. I believe she learned of it from Emma Ruth Rundle, whose endorsement should speak for itself. Those two had it embedded in my mind as one of those mental notes to self that I told myself I’d commit to “some day.” Then a coworker brought a copy to work with her and I knew I had to get on it. This book kept showing up in my daily life, and I’m growing tired of telling myself that my desire to make something can be put off for a fabled “right time” down the line. Life will never line up as I wish, so I’m getting started on this process now.
EATING & DRINKING
Salted Egg Chips from Hy Foods
If I see a bag of chips that I’ve never had before, it feels like a challenge and a joy to me. Often I find myself disappointed. Some of the most ambitiously flavored chips end up a mishmash of sugar and the sort of flavoring that makes you say “I can’t quite place that,” but these were surprisingly pleasant. I had no idea what a salted egg chip should be, but this was neither too salty nor egg-like, at least not in the unpleasant way I’d envisioned it might be. I had somewhat dreaded this bag, yet it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable new chips I’d tried in recent memory and I’d gladly try them again.
WATCHING
The Crow, 1994
On October 30th, I rewatched The Crow for the first time in years. If the near-perfect time capsule soundtrack and the overall vibe of the thing wasn’t enough, the film itself is actually a joy to see. I’m by no means a cinephile and don’t understand the full art of it, but for the first time in my life I took note of color and composition while watching. Unless I’m a fool, which is a likely possibility, this is beautifully shot in spite of the somewhat silly story. I always felt the basic premise was more or less a vehicle to make a cool movie, but it’s one hell of a cool movie that has, unfortunately, spawned a lengthy series of unnecessary sequels and remakes. I’ll stick with just this one, thanks.
Over The Garden Wall, Carton Network 2014
I’ve made watching Over The Garden Wall an annual thing these last few years and it’s just so damn wholesome. The characters are complicated and honest, the songs are shockingly endearing for a musical, and the story is clever enough to surprise and delight even though it’s well-worn and familiar to me now after a few years of viewings. I wish more folks were inclined to make something so human and compassionate these days. I’d love more things to watch in this vein that aren’t just soft mushy “cozy” crap but hold actual depth and respect for their audience. That’s what makes it stand out—the complexity and playfulness when the show’s angle could’ve been so easily played for comfort and softness. It’s the “warts and all” approach to being a teen that really hits home and makes this endure repeated watches. Can’t wait to see it again next October.
Gastronauts, Dropout TV, currently airing
Everyone needs a background TV show to watch in the evening, or at least most people do. I’m actually not someone who does, but it’s become something of a habit in the home all the same. My one great weakness in television is competition cooking shows, and I’ve recently begun appreciating comedy a bit more than I used to. My partner found this program, which has quickly grown on me. Rather than a direct premise like “here are your ingredients, make an entrée,” the chefs on the program are given tasks by comedians who enjoy food but may not have as complex of a kitchen background. Prompts so far have included “make me an edible action figure” or “horniest,” leaving the chefs to figure out where to go with the information given. It’s perfectly entertaining and the food usually looks pretty enticing.
PLAYING
Mechstermination Force, Switch
This charming platformer/run-n-gun type game showed up on my twitter somehow when a post from the developer came into my feed. I got it on sale for $2 and it’s been a great little boss rush type experience where you’re a tiny dude with a gun and you need to destroy giant machines. Each mech you fight has unique weak points and attack patterns you need to learn in order to climb up it and smash its vulnerable spots. The game’s not complex in practice but it’s incredibly challenging and has just enough of a cute little back/side-story to make it feel like it’s more than a series of well-designed enemies to face. As you go, new mechanics are introduced intuitively with very little explanation. They simply become apparent through basic trial and error, as it should be. Each stage can be replayed for in-game trophies and to earn cash for upgrades, which the completist in me loves even if I know I’m never beating half these levels without taking any damage. Super fun, feels like the sort of game that I used to play on Genesis or Super Nintendo after school as a kid, but at a difficulty level that’s more fitting for my adult self. Well worth checking out if you haven’t already!
Assassins Creed III Remastered, Switch
I played the first Assassins Creed game when it was still a relatively new series and I was just 22. I don’t remember much of the story, but after a lifetime of 16 to 64 bit gaming, it was just so fun to parkour around strange environments and sneak up on people. Fifteen years later, I saw a bundle of games in the series at a steep sale price and got them. I’ve played my way through three of the sequels so far and I still can’t tell if I actually enjoy these games, care about the details, or if I mostly just feel determined not to have wasted any money and to follow a couple of the broader story arcs that have piqued my curiosity. There are occasional moments in each game that I truly enjoy, but I couldn’t care less about a lot of the weird side-quests (helping Ben Franklin collect pages of his Almanac? Building up my own little empire?). It’s also telling that the majority of the game, looking back further in history, interests me less than the infrequent glimpses of characters exploring in the current time. Still, the platforming elements are really fun when I get into the flow and the combat and storyline aren’t dull enough to prevent me from playing it. Just not sure if this is a game or series I’ll really look back on with more than a shrug and a sense that I treated it like a job I did for free.
Vampire Survivors, Steam
I had to put this game away for more than a year because of the immense damage it did to my “productive time.” There’s been so many updates since I last picked it up that I had to dive back in and I’m now using it as a go-to game to play when listening to new music that I’m considering discussing in this little newsletter. It requires just enough presence of mind to keep me engaged, and not so much that I can’t also focus on enjoying music. I have no idea how to unlock most of the things that lay before me because I’ve found a little “build” for my character that mostly works, and I know I’d have to break out of my safe habits if I want to open new items and areas. Doesn’t matter to me. It’s still fun to be an old dude clutching a powerful bundle of garlic and watching things wilt before me as I walk around eating chickens and breathing fire.
Octopath Traveler, Steam
I started a file in Octopath Traveler shortly before returning to the workforce in 2023. I often find newer RPGs to have a battle system that doesn’t work for me, but was pleasantly surprised to find this one intuitive. I was hopeful that I’d be able to keep up with the game once I got my first real job after a few years of illness, but I overestimated my capacities. Now that I’ve been working for like 18 months, I’m starting to find little moments for myself and recently restarted this game. I’d only made it about four hours in, so the little bits of retreading feel more like I’m reminding myself of the story than the tedium I’d imagined they’d be. Genuinely excited to see this unfold.
Pokemon Go, mobile
Look, I’d say I’m trying to quit but we all know that I’m probably not going to give up this silly little habit. I never got into actual real-world gambling for money, but I definitely think the rush I get when I catch a shiny Pokemon is akin to getting 777 on a slot machine. It won’t financially devastate me but it also won’t do much to benefit my life aside from giving me a little ‘reward’ for being on my phone when I ride the train to work. I’ve done worse things with my life.
In Summary
This newsletter, blog, transmission…it’s very much a work in progress. I know many writers and creative people who are far more professional and structured than I am. I kinda just throw things at my computer and see what sticks. The shape and scope of this are designed to shift, and I hope that’s what will save me from an inevitable sense of disappointment and failure. I received dozens of subscriptions upon announcing Trauma Angel, which gives me great hope but also a fear of failure. There’s just over fifty of you I might let down if I do it improperly. And while I do plan on saving some fun stuff for the paid edition, it’s hard for me to want to hide anything behind a paywall. If something is worth sharing, isn’t it worth sharing widely? I’ll get over that anxiety as I learn which parts are best kept public and which ones are more for the folks who opt to pay for a bit more, but the whole thing is nebulous and weird and raw. I hope that’s exactly why you’re here.
In the next edition, to be published November 29th, I’ll have fewer items to review and I hope it’ll allow me to instead explore each topic in greater detail. It will contain an interview with an artist I love and will hopefully establish a more serious presence for Trauma Angel than this teaser/taster that I had to get out of my system. I hope that future editions will not be deemed “too long for email” the way this one did. I hope you’ll forgive me if they end up even longer.
If you are a person making anything interesting (music, books, film, food, games) and think I should know about it, you can email me directly at trauma.angel666@gmail.com to discuss it with me. I am not terribly interested in the traditional PR pipeline and the way it tends to narrow the scope of art discussed in writing, but I acknowledge that I cannot find everything on my own by digging for it. If you contact me, please know that I will always try to give preference to independent artists advocating on their own behalf over those who have hired teams. I am a one-person operation and know how much effort and love it takes to make something and get it out into the world. I will try to honor your efforts the same way you’re here to engage with mine. Thank you.
Totally stoked to see how this project evolves.